Assertiveness

Assertiveness

DESCRIPTION

1. Definition

It comes from the English word ASSERTIVENESS (to assert one's self). Assertiveness is a concrete behaviour that is part of leadership.

It means showing authority by being diplomatic. It is acting with "an iron hand in a velvet glove".

2. Types and description of behaviour

In different social situations, 4 types of behaviour are possible:

  • Passive behaviour.
  • Aggressive behaviour.
  • Manipulative behaviour.
  • Assertive behaviour: the only positive attitude that allows one to respect oneself as much as one respects the other.

Behavioural diagram :

Passivity
Handling
Aggression
Assertiveness
Material
• No getting what you want. • Wait for someone to guess or understand your needs. • Fear of disturbing, causing conflict
• Concealment of its objectives. • Speaking little by ellipsis and insinuation.  • Use of intermediaries to pass on messages. messages.  • Promising a lot but deliver little.
• Getting what you want by force without worrying about others. • Put your needs before those of others. • Creating conflicts.
• Defend your rights by respecting those of rights.  • Know express your needs and listen to the of others.  • Try to solve the problems.
Relational
• No clear expression of your emotions.  • Misunderstood, forgotten or exploited. • Self-effacing, cold, unmotivated, no initiative ("goody-goody")
• Making speeches different depending on different people.  • No position taken.  • Flatter and Complimenting excessively.
• Imposing your point of view your point of view in a categorical and authoritarian.  • Frustration of your interlocutors because you can't cannot stand contradiction.
• Active in the relationship to express clearly and sincerely your point of view. • Appreciated for your openness even though you disturbing.
Emotional
• Frustration, devaluation, loss of self-respect. • Rumination afterwards • Disregard others. • Poor performance.
• Encouraging denunciation and show the discord. • Loss of credibility and trust of others. • Slow down the work and work and break the synergy.
• Tension, nervousness, sensation of aggression. • Power relationship force with others. others. • Inhibition and demotivation of those around them • Efficiency apparent
• Self-confidence • Action to the to the best of its ability by knowing its limits • Self-analysis without excess, and expression expression of one's emotions.

3. Characteristics of assertive behaviour

  • Clear and firm statements: 3 rules.
  • 1) Be personally involved. Speak about yourself and say "I". Know how to take your place (without dislodging the other).

    2) Respect and pay attention to the other person by rephrasing what they say.

    3) Persistence and determination in pursuing objectives.

  • Body language: The importance of assertive non-verbal language.
Passivity
Aggressiveness
Assertiveness
PARAVERBAL
Voice intensity
Low
Strong
Adapted (stronger in groups)
Intonation
Neutral
Exaggerated
Warm, adapted to the verbal content
Verbal flow
Slow
Quick
Regular and calm
Amount if speech
Speak little, let others speak
Talk too much, don't let others talk
Speak as much as the other
NON VERBAL PUR
Look
Fleeing
Stares at the caller
Frank contact
Facial expression
dreary
Contracted
Expressive (in in accordance with the verbal content)
Body position
Slumped over, folded up, away from each other
Tense, erect, too close to each other
Firm, flexible, at good distance
Body movements
Rare or nervous
Uncoordinated, fast
Calm, slow, ample, underlining the verbal