PUTTING INTO PRACTICE 1
Identify the filters, mental programming, interpretations, and influences, that often bias your perceptions of what we should perceive, by answering these questions:
1. The freedom to see and hear what is
rather than what was, what should be, or what will be
What proven reality do you find difficult to see or hear?
2. The freedom to say (with kindness and empathy) what you feel and think
rather than what you think you should say
What thoughts or emotions do you have difficulty expressing?
3. The freedom to feel what you feel
rather than what you think you should feel
What emotions or feelings do you have difficulty connecting to?
4. The freedom to ask for what you want
rather than waiting to be given permission
What do you really want that you have trouble asking for? To whom?
5. The freedom to choose and take risks on one's own behalf
rather than seeking safety and avoiding "rocking the boat" (by making comfort choices that maintain the status quo)
What initiatives do you find difficult to take because they seem risky? What comfort choices do you make as a result? When you struggle to move the boat (by making comfort choices that maintain the status quo)
When you struggle to give yourself these permissions :
- How do you feel (emotions, feelings)?
- What do you say to yourself? (self-talk, self-judgment) • How do you behave? (physical sensations, reactive actions, withdrawal, aggression, etc.)
PUTTING INTO PRACTICE 2
- Practice letting go and acceptance to improve your ability to see and hear what is.
- Develop emotional management and assertiveness to improve your ability to say what you feel and think.
- Improve your emotional awareness to improve your ability to feel what you feel.
- Practice assertiveness and be proactive to improve your ability to ask for what you want.
- Develop your courage and leadership to take risks on your own behalf and dare to go after what matters most to you.
Some thoughts from Virginia SATIR for inspiration:
"Every human being is the best, a treasure and even a miracle”
"I want to love you without clinging, appreciate you without judging you, join you without invading you, invite you without insisting, leave you without guilt, criticise you* without blaming you, help you without diminishing you! If you want to give me the same, then we can meet and enrich each other.”
"In all the universe, there is no other person who is exactly like me. I am me and all that I am is unique. I am responsible for myself. I have everything I need right here and now to live fully. I can choose to manifest the best of myself, I can choose to love, to be competent, to find meaning in my life and order in the universe. I can choose to develop, grow and live in harmony with myself, others and God. I am worthy of being accepted and loved exactly as I am here and now. I love and accept myself. I choose to live fully today.”