Kaler and Capers’ 5 Drivers

Kaler and Capers’ 5 Drivers

DESCRIPTION

On the basis of Eric Berne's work on Transactional Analysis, Taïbi KAHLER and Hedge CAPERS, American psychologists and transactional analysts identify 5 drivers, i.e. the constraining messages that each individual carries within him or herself and which lead to repetitive behaviour, particularly under stress

These drivers are the following:

  • Make Pleased

Examples:

"Maybe I could..."

"Do you mind if..."

"Well, never mind, if that's what you want..."

(over-adaptation to please)

  • Be Strong

There are 2 distinct forms of this driver: the Parent form and the Child form

Examples of the Parent form:

"There's a transport strike? That's not my problem! We have an appointment at 8am so make sure you're there!”

"I'm a customer, do as I say!”

"You're on your own! You're a big boy!”

Examples of the Child form:

Silence

Withdrawal

(In thoughts) "I have to manage on my own"; "When you are strong, you don't cry"; ...

  • Be Perfect

There are two distinct forms of this driver: the Parent form and the Child form

Examples of the Parent form:

“I am surprised that someone at your level does not understand what I am presenting.” “Your question is not precise”

"It is normal that you do this for me, you are paid for it”

Examples of the Child form:

"Leave it, I can do it better and faster"

"If we look at this work, I mean this methodological approach, and by methodology I mean of course the approach by which we each carry out one stage of a clear and precise process, it is important to note that the solution identified, or at least found, is not adequate with regard to the problems that our company is experiencing...” (superfluous qualifiers, brackets within brackets...)

  • Make an effort

"What? I don't understand anything...”

"It's hard..."

"It's always the same, it's boring work, it's tiring, I can't take it anymore...”

  • Hurry up (secondary driver)

Usually complements another driver to add a speed/rush dimension.

  • For example, with a "Be a Perfect Parent": "Your report was not up to standard, there were indeed 3 's' left out (on a 300-page report). I expect a new version by lunchtime without fail!"
  • For example, with a "Please": "Yes, of course, I'll bring it to you right away, of course" (the person bending and waving rapidly in all directions)

IN-DEPTH STUDY

Please: To be OK and to be recognised, I have to be there for the other person. I tend to over-adapt, to do too much, to be insecure and firm in my decisions, and I "sacrifice" myself to the detriment of my own needs and priorities. It is the relationship that comes first. It should be read as follows: "You're OK, I'm OK if I please you".

Be strong (Parent): I am OK, but for the other to be OK, and recognised, he/she must be focused on his/her priorities, stand-alone, not show emotions, and not ask for help. Action is the priority. I tend to think I don't need anyone, and can't stand 'dependent' people. It should be read as: "I'm ok, you're ok if you're strong".

Be strong (Child): To be OK, and to be recognised, I have to be strong, to show that I can manage alone. I become passive, withdraw, and cut myself off from others. I can get involved in several projects in parallel without completing any of them. I tend not to finish my sentences. It should be read as: “you are ok, I am ok if I am strong.”

Be perfect (Parent): I am OK, but for the other to be OK, and recognised, he/she must be perfect, and must not make mistakes. I try to impose my point of view and can tend to be negative and to underline only what is wrong. It should be read this way: I am ok, and you are ok if you are perfect.

Be perfect (Child): To be OK, and to be recognised, I have to be perfect. I over-invest in what may seem like details to others. I become manic, I nitpick and don't give myself the right to make mistakes. It should be read like this: "You are ok, I am ok if I am perfect".

Make an effort: To be OK, and to be recognised, I have to show that what I am doing is difficult for me and that I am making a real effort. I tend to sigh a lot and indirectly willingly or unwillingly call on the other person to do or think for me ("I don't understand anything...", "it's hard..."): it's as if I can't think clearly anymore. I 'row'. It should be read like this: "You're OK, I'm OK if I make an effort".

Hurry up (secondary): To be OK, and to be recognised, I have to show that I am acting in a hurry. Stress gives me a high, and I try to act in a hurry. It should be read like this: "You're OK, I'm OK if I hurry.

These drivers come out to suggest a specific need, the search for a sign of recognition. "If I do this, I have value and others will consider me. They are linked to a conditional life position "I am valuable if...", "You are valuable if...".